80AD - The Jewel of Asgard by Aiki Flinthart

Blurb: What happens when you take a pair of ordinary, miserable 14 year olds out of their ordinary, miserable lives and throw them into another world and another time? Chaos, fear, magic and excitement - that's what. When Phoenix and Jade somehow end up in the bodies of their own warrior Avatars in the online fantasy game, 80AD, they have to play the game through to get home. Do they have what it takes? 

 Review by Dale:

Forgive my tardy return to reviewing, I have been unwell with a lingering flu for several weeks now. So without further delay I present the latest Chilli Tween Review for your enjoyment.

This story is very unique, and I think that Flinthart has a recipe here that should be easily reproduced as a series. I notice she has banged out one every two months. I'm not sure if thats how fast she writes or if she had written them previously and that was the time taken to get them through Smashwords' meat grinder?

The premise is immensely entertaining, the two main heroes get sucked into a computer game reality and discover that they have to play out the games premise in order to save themselves and their own world. So far so good.

The setting of the game is also brilliant. Roman occupied Britannia. Every little boy loves the Romans, and spicing them up with giant Ogres and Elves just makes the scene every more exciting. I can imagine nail biting ten year olds ripping through this one nice and quickly.

The story works well, has a good structure and one scene links very well into the next with a well tempo'd style. The meticulous attention to historical details is great to see. A history lesson without beating anyone over the head about it. Readers are learning because its important to the story, not just a nice snap in. The writing is well targeted at the 8 - 12 year reader, it is easy to follow, with no overly convoluted narratives. It has a great flow that will keep young readers interested. There are still a lot of editing errors in this book though, basic typos and grammar or layout errors. It is a little distracting.

The characters are well handled. That is the two main protagonists, Phoenix and Jade. The other two companions don't get a lot of screen time to reveal themselves too fully. I thought the young thief, Brynn was a great sidekick. And the idea of Marcus the young Roman had great potential but he never really got a chance to come out. Maybe he shines more in book two? I would have loved to have seen how his first century attitudes contrasted and conflicted with the pair from the twenty first century.

Another small bug bear was at the end. Flinthart had done a great job bring all the protagonists and antagonists together in a spectacular last stand. There at the nail biting conclusion, Phoenix, a hairs breadth from razor sharp roman steel has a crisis of conscience. So instead of maintaining the great momentum she had established, the whole story collapsed into a mental conversation about the ethics of retreat. I think that could have been written a bit differently that allowed the characters to have their reflection on the implications of their actions but maybe after we were allowed the action scene to maintain its momentum.

It will be interesting to see how Flinthart's writing matures over the series as well. I know my writing changed the more i wrote and I know I'm learning a lot by reading and reviewing other writers too.

All said and done its a great story! One I'm sure the target readers will love and I'm definitely keen to read the other books in the series and review them here. I give it 4 stars. It's FREE too so why wait, scull down and click on the download link now!

The cover art is great too. Im glad that the author has taken the time to get some professional art rather than the stock clipart you see too much of in indie publishing.

Format: eBook
Available from Smashwords
Link to Download: Here
Price: $0.00c (at time of review)
Wordcount: 60,000 (appx)
Author: Aiki Flinthart
Author's Blog: Here

Bees in my Butt by Rebecca Shelley

Blurb: In Bees in My Butt, the first book of the Smartboys Club series, the members of the Smartboys Club use their skills to defeat a group of crazed Ninjas that take over the school. And it happens on a day when one of the Smartboys has the worst case of flatulence imaginable. 






Reviewed by Dale


Well how could you possibly pass on the courageously titled bees in my butt? Why this title alone would conjure up all kinds of insane ideas in the mind of any self respecting ten year old. So with this notion in mind I cracked the old ebook reader open and started to find out what where bees doing up some poor kid's butt.

Young Johnny Lovebird is your typically 5th grader who sits next to you in class all year long. You barely give him much thought until one day he is cutting the smelliest cheese you could ever imagine. yes that's right, in an omametaphic display of alliteration bees are are the metaphore of nasal doom. Bees are farts. Not just annoying nose curdling wafts of poorly digested proteins, these thunderous cacophonies bring an abrupt holt to a school assembly as the odious vapors escape the clutches of Johnny's tightly clenched butt cheeks. Parrrrrrrrp parp parp parp.

How does our hero ever survive the most embarrassing moment of his school life? Well disgracing of course. Fortunately for him a band of ninjas attack the school faculty and assume control of the school and it's curriculum. So how does our hero and his misfit band of sidekicks manage to free the school from the coughed of the evil high kicking hooded ninja? Well you're just going to have to read the book yourself to find out, me I'm off to find another book to read.

This is a very well written story, lots of good fun and humour abound. The writing is tight and neatly focused at the age group it's written for. Still plenty in there for adults if they are reading it to their kids too.  It's not a long book, and there were a lot of blank pages in my copy, maybe a bug in the ePub conversion?

So lots of fun and laughs if you are looking for some comic relief.


Age 10+
Format: eBook
Available from Smashwords
Link to Download: Here
Price: US$.99c
Wordcount: 12,500 (appx)
Author: Rebecca Shelley

Boone Barnaby by Joe Cottonwood

Blurb: An award-winning novel loved by adults and children alike about the adventures of three boys (and a flaky dog) chasing an arsonist while testing the limits of life, soccer, and garbage in their scrappy little town among the redwood trees of California.






Reviewed by Dale


It was the blurb that attracted me to this story. Who could resist the premise? The chance to relive your childhood through the madcap adventures of three young boys and a trusty canine companion. Through in some fires, fights and soccer and you should have a winning combination.


This is no short novella, weighing in at more than 50,000 words it represents exceptional value for the tiny asking price; about .99cents as of writing. The prose itself is fine, and of a high standard both in elocution and editing. Although maybe the author strains the odd metaphor here and there, certainly no reason to put you off.


I must say it took me three or four days to read this book too. Generally a book this size I would read in a day. I also noticed that it took a considerable amount of time for something to actually happen. Maybe I'm too used to the kind of story commonly peddled today, a product of the gotta have it now! generation. Maybe the author is subtly conveying the idea of a sleepy, lazy, summery haze with his adagio style. Im not saying good, or bad. Merely that thats how it is. Maybe its enjoyable to have a fresh approach. Like a fine wine you dont want to quaff it all at once, you savior the story over a couple of days. 


So if you liked Steinbeck's 'Of mice and Men' or Twain's 'The Adventures of Tom Sawyers' give this a try.


Format: eBook
Available from Smashwords
Link to Download: Here
Price: US$0.99c
Wordcount: 50,000 (appx)
Author: Joe Cottonwood

BROOKS BERRY IN The Case of The Stolen Season by Michael James

Blurb:


Brooks Berry is your normal 12 year old boy. Obsessed with sports, best friends with his dog Ripken and a very curious mind. He also is one of Wauwatosa's leading detectives. Join this boy sleuth and his friends on his mystery solving adventures packed with unexpected twists and turns. Written in the spirit of the Hardy Boys & Nancy Drew mysteries. First edition of a new series. 

Reviewed by Dale

I enjoy a good mystery as much as any one does and I was quite eager to start this story. Te setting is an American high school and the action or mystery unfolds around american football games. I don't follow grid iron and it's not played in my country so I couldn't really understand the in depth narratation of the plays. I guess it would be the same for Americans reading rugby or cricket plays.

The story has a few through away laughs, the Trojan computer company, where I'm sure the author is laying on a Trojan virus the word is also the brand name for a popular brand of condon in my country so it constantly made me snicker. Hehe

Also the references to cigarette buts and the hero's intimate knowledge of them is a no brainer homage to the great Sherlock Holmes no doubt that anyone who has read a Conan Doyle story could miss that.

Although I found the story and the writing up to a good standard. Was dissapointed that the author used narrative to drive the story forward. In fact probably 70% of this story is authors voice. A great scene, and sadly a great example of this was when Brooks, the young sleuth was black boarding his suspects and motives. Now Conan Doyle would have done this with Holmes plucking away all melancolie on his violin, half doped with opium and dr Watson buried in the Sunday cross word. It would have been dialogue driven with Watson struggling to keep up with Holme's wild posturing and great leaps of intuition. Instead we had the author explaining what Brad was thinking.


The ending was good, though. The author managed to twist the tale around and around to keep you guessing as to who the culprit was. Lots of red herrings and excitement.


Three and a half out of Five for me.


Format: eBook
Price: Free
27,000 words
Download link Here
Author Michael James